just passing through, thanks

i've been here since 3, it's now just after 8 and i'm flipping bored. when i leave, hopefully tomorrow night, i will have been in kansas city international airport for over 20% of my 4 (now 5) day stay in the kansas city metro area. it's not the greatest airport to begin with, but the limited room to explore doesn't help. also not helping is that many of the shops which would have potentially sold me some sort of distraction are closed so that their employees could go home before the storm which has cancelled almost every flight out of here took hold of them as well. fortunately, starbucks is open 'til 9, with their hip&fun "let's be hip&fun!" muzak juxtaposed against the nearly unbearable ennuye of everyone within earshot. even more fortunately, kci provides free wi-fi, unlike salt lake city, which charges 9.95 for 24 hours to get you initially online, even though the average layover is what, 3 hours? maybe? although, i suppose were i in this same predicament in slc, i'd pay the dirty 9.95. and all this is not necessarily to say that i have been forced into my best viktor navorski imitation. i could have gone to a nearby hotel, but that would have cost me money and a hotel isn't nearly as good of a story as spending the night in an airport. but this isn't much a story yet, is it? it's mostly complaining and wordy attempts to occupy myself.

airports are transitional and my home is residential. that's simple enough, right? yet, i find myself now expecting that this airport will function as my home with the regular amenities like a hot shower, soft bed, food, my guitar, my wife and so on. in fact, i hold it in contempt for not being my home, as if it were supposed to know that i am projectedly here for 24 hours beyond my original 6pm departure. man, am i an idiot.

nobody designs an airport to live in it. (although if they did, that could be sweet. they would have a normal airport and then have these skybox-type condos for companies and frequently-flying individuals to rent out. they could cleverly call them "airport-ments" or "skyboxes" or "really expensive.") simillarly, this life i now live is transitional, not residential. in the words of derek webb, "though not my home it's where i live." yet i consistently treat this life as if it's all i will ever have. i secure my livelihood, look for a decent house to buy someday and fix up into a nice house. these aren't inherently bad things, but if these things are the ends and means of my existence, there's something wrong.

the worst part of this and most of my observations is that i have no idea what to do about it. and, since nobody ever reads this self-important blog, i am forced to live out various attemptedly reconciliatory efforts on my own. but i know my wife will join me. she's good for that.